I Could Make You Stay (Another Life)
by AchillesLives-SR2
Summary: Thinking of their final moments when dealing with the loss of the man she loved, Miranda see's lives they could have lived. Post Destroy Ending. One-Shot


**I Could Make You Stay (Another Life)**

Lieutenant Commander John Shepard paced nervously near the communications console, hesitant to make his final call. The man had stared down Krogan Warlords, Rachni queens, heck even Reapers, but the thought of making the call to Miranda terrified him. He had got in contact with all his old teammates. Zaeed, Kasumi, Grunt, Samara, Jack. He knew from talking to them that they were all spread out. Zaeed was fighting with a band of mercenaries, Grunt was leading Aralakh Company, Samara was with her fellow justicar's whilst Jack was providing barrier support for Alliance troops. Kasumi and Miranda were Shepard's only friends that weren't fighting on the ground. Both were aboard ships protecting the Crucible.

 _Come on you coward.. Ring her!_

"Is there anybody else you wish to contact, sir?" asked the Communications Tech Specialist.

"Miranda Lawson."

"Connecting you now."

Time seemed to slow down as Miranda's form appeared. It amazed Shepard how no matter how used to looking at her he got, his reaction never changed. His palms became sweaty, his fingers twitched nervously and his breath caught in his throat.

"John," she smiled, relieved.

"It's good to see you are okay, Miri," Shepard said, trying not to say too much in front of the Tech Specialist.

"Can you give us a few minutes, Specialist?"

The Specialist in question answered, flabbergasted. "Sir, I am under orders from Staff Lieutenant Mason to operate this QEC."

"And I'm giving you new orders, step outside until I'm done."

The Specialist was going to argue, but remembered he was talking to a higher ranking official.

"Yes, sir," he saluted, then left.

Shepard turned back to Miranda, taking in her appearance.

She was wearing her usual black and white catsuit, raven colored hair framing her perfectly sculpted face. Azure eyes shined with intelligence but also with worry.

Shepard knew she was as anxious as he was. She was scratching at the base of her neck, something she did when embarrassed or nervous.

"Is everything okay where you are, are you safe?" he asked concerned.

Two years ago Shepard's concern likely would have angered Miranda. She was a powerful biotic, and not at all incapable with a gun. Suffice to say, she could take care of herself. But now, Miranda's heart fluttered with joy knowing that Shepard was worried about her.

"I'm fine John, I'm stationed on the SSV Auray, we are surrounding Project Crucible and aren't in any immediate danger. Are you in a safe location?" she asked worried, before a hint of anger entered her voice. "John Shepard, you better not be compromising your position by making this call, what if you get..."

"Miri, relax, I'm in London's FOB, I'm safe for now," he interrupted quickly.

A look of relief formed on Miranda's face. Not knowing exactly what to say next, Miranda opted to say what was on her mind.

"John... I .. I wanted to say goodbye."

"What do you mean?" Shepard frowned.

"The odds of defeating the Reapers today are low. The odd's of both of us surviving? There even lower. I.. I just don't know what I would do if anything happened to you John."

Shepard could see Miranda was frightened, even through the QEC. She was shaking slightly, and a look of terror filled her eyes.

"Miri, I don't care about the odds, we are going to win today. We are going to survive. And when all of that is said and done, we will be together," Shepard promised.

He had always been a military man. His mother and father served with the Alliance. He himself had been serving since he was eighteen. But now, all he wanted was to spend the rest of his life with his beautiful, snarky, Australian girlfriend by his side. No space heroes, or super spies, just them.

"I shouldn't be here, I should be down there with you. I should have been by your side from the beginning," Miranda's voice was starting to crack with emotion, something that hadn't happened in eleven months, two weeks, four days and approximately eleven hours.

Both humans took a step closer.

Face to face. but never touching.

"It's funny," he smiled. "I've made a lot of mistakes these past few years. I should regret letting Ashley die back on Virmire, I should regret not spending more time with my mum, or losing Jacob and Tali and the Collector base. But the biggest regret I have, is that we didn't meet sooner.

"John... John, please don't go," Miranda whispered. The usual confident and commanding tone, replaced by a broken, and emotionally torn tone that shocked Shepard to his core. He had never heard her sound like that.

"Miri.."

"No.. John please, I'm begging you. Don't go, please. I know the plan, I know what you are going to be doing, but please don't go. Don't leave me," Miranda openly cried, tears streaming down her face.

"Miri.. you know I have to go," Shepard whispered.

"No you don't!" she yelled distraught. "You can let somebody else take your place, you can stay on the sidelines, or you can even just leave! But, please John don't go up there."

"You know you're going to feel pretty stupid for crying when I come back to you."

Miranda laughed softly despite herself. It amazed her how quickly Shepard could calm her.

"I'm sorry to do this to you now, but I don't want anything to happen to you," she spoke softly.

"Miranda, I love you. I love you. I've been dancing around saying this for a while now, but its high time you know. I love you. And, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. But, I need to stop the Reapers to do that. So, I'm going out there. And once they are gone. I'm going to find you. I promise."

Shepard turned to leave before Miranda spoke again.

"I could make you stay, you know," she smiled sadly.

"In another life, maybe," he laughed.

* * *

Life for Miranda Lawson had never been easy. She had been created by her egomaniac of a father, and had never been shown the love and warmth one should receive as a child. No, her father had treated her as a prize to show off, not as his daughter.

In fact, nobody had ever shown her any affection at all. That is, until she met John Shepard.

They made an unlikely pair. She was genetically designed to be perfect, he was anything but. Him the Alliance Marine, her the Cerberus Operative, for all intensive purposes he should have hated her. Perhaps that is why they were perfect together.

Miranda still refused to believe he was truly dead.

It had been six weeks since the destruction of the Reapers. The Citadel had been cleared of any hostiles, and with the four arms that were still attached open and operational, life was slowly returning back to normal. It was there Miranda had found out the news.

With David Anderson and The Illusive Mans bodies being the only ones found in the wreckage were the Crucible had docked, Miranda had presumed that Shepard had been on board the Normandy. With word from the ship that they would be docking soon, Miranda had decided to try and surprise Shepard.

Miranda had dressed herself up and was waiting with Kasumi at the docking tube when the Normandy arrived. Kasumi had met up with Miranda earlier in the month, and had been spending most of her time with her former team mate.

Dressed in a black gown that hugged her curves perfectly, and her raven colored hair cascading over one shoulder, she was the recipient over several lust filled stares from many men in the area. Who could blame them. Miranda had always been attractive, with a slight smile on her lips, waiting for the man she loved to return to her, she looked breathtakingly beautiful. Kasumi had even 'procured' a bouquet of roses for her.

Miranda had never been in a serious relationship and was at times unsure of how to express how she felt. John had been a lot better, always knew what gestures Miranda would appreciate, and what she would find too corny. But, she was sure the flowers would be a nice surprise for him.

With a nervous grip on the flowers, and butterflies in her stomach, Miranda watched on as the docking tube doors opened.

The first ones out were regular crewmen. All had blank expressions on their faces. Then came people Miranda recognized, Engineers Ken Donnelly and Gabby Daniels from the Collector mission, soon followed by Samantha Traynor and Steve Cortez, whom Miranda had met at Shepard's party a few weeks back. Donnelly had his arm wrapped around Gabby's shoulders, as she cried profusely. Traynor had tears in her eyes, and Cortez was clearly fighting back tears of his own.

Miranda's smile faded, and a feeling of dread seeped in to her heart.

 _No.._

 _No no no no... Please God no.._

Then came the ground team. Or, what was left of it.

James Vega came first. He was steely eyed, staring straight ahead. He was avoiding making eye contact, and didn't even acknowlegde Miranda as he walked by her.

Kaidan Alenko and Joker came next. Both were teary eyed, both refusing to fully show how they were feeling.

 _He's going to come out next... He has to.._

Garrus soon followed. Garrus looked lost, angry and sad, all at the same time. His visor was off, and he angrily clutched it in his talons.

 _Come on_ _John, please ..._

Liara was last. It was when the docking tube doors closed behind Liara that tears began to form in the corners of Miranda's eyes.

"Miranda, I.." Kasumi spoke, unsure of what to say to her friend.

 _No... No, please... He can't be..._

Liara spotted Miranda almost immediately, and walked over to her. Liara looked on the verge of tears, but was holding them back well. She was holding a leather jacket in her arms.

"Miss Lawson.. I.. I'm so sorry ..."

The bouquet dropped.

Her heart stopped beating.

The asari handed the jacket to Miranda, a single tear rolling down her cheek as she did.

It was Shepard's N7 jacket, the jacket Miranda had given him for their anniversary a few months back. The look of love and adoration he had on his face for Miranda when she gave it to him would be something she would never forget. Shepard had refused to wear anything else during down time after receiving it.

It was then that the tears fell. The sobs started as soft, whimpering cries, but as Miranda felt Kasumi wrap her arms around her, it grew. Her eyes screwed tightly shut as the crying grew in sound, her anguish finally pouring out as she began to mourn the loss of the man she loved so dearly. Her mouth was open, contorting in an expression of profound grief that any person of any species could identify.

Miranda opened her eyes, and simply stared at the N7 insignia, through tear filled eyes.

"He promised.. I.. I was.. We were supposed to.. Oh, John.."

Liara and Kasumi began to cry along with Miranda, the loss of their friend and Miranda's reaction pushing them over the edge.

"It's going to be okay, Miranda," Kasumi tried to comfort her to no avail.

"I never told him," Miranda whispered. "I never told him I loved him. Not once."

Liara wrapped her arm around Miranda, and led her away from the docks.

"He knew Miranda, he always knew."

* * *

Several weeks had past since the news broke that John Shepard, the Lion of Elysium, the Hero of the Citadel, had given his life to stop the Reapers.

The galaxy had taken it hard. Celebrations were thrown in his honor, future children, of all species, would be named after him. He would be remembered as a legend.

But, those closest took it hardest.

Joker retired from the Alliance. With EDI and the Commander gone, he had stated there was nothing left for him in the military. Vega, Cortez and Kaidan, spent time reminiscing on the times they had spent with Shepard.

Grunt had been hysterical. Shepard had been like a father to the tank bred Krogan. Wrex wouldn't show it but the loss of his first real friend hit him hard. He had sworn to name his first clutch after his late Commander.

Samara and Jack had both shown little response to the news, but both missed their friend dearly.

Zaeed had been killed during the assault in London.

Hannah Shepard had been killed during the space battle between the United Fleets and the Reapers.

Javik had left the Normandy before it arrived on the Citadel in one of its shuttles, to search for the graves of his comrades. Nobody knew how he managed to pilot the primitive machine.

Garrus had stayed for the memorial service, but left for Palaven soon after. He hadn't spoken to few after docking on the Citadel. Nobody knew what he planned to do, or where he planned to go. All he had told Liara was that he was going to meet him at the bar.

But nobody had taken Shepard's death harder then Miranda. Upon reading Shepard's will, they found out everything he owned had been left to Miranda. The only thing that hadn't, was his favorite rifle, which he left to Garrus.

Miranda spent most of her time alone in his- her apartment. Rarely eating, rarely sleeping. Staring at a spot near the fire, wearing his N7 jacket. Nobody but her knew that the spot she stared at was the very same spot her and Shepard had held each other, watching the world fly by during his shore leave.

The memorial service broke her heart. They spent that evening in silence, honoring the lives of all the Normandy Crew that had been lost.

Ashley. Jacob. Tali. Mordin. Thane. Legion. Zaeed.

People from different species, different lifestyles, all united, because of one man.

A man who gave everything he had, so that the rest of the galaxy could live.

And yet he didn't get to see his victory.

It made Miranda even more miserable when she thought about it. She had been thinking of something Jack had told her earlier at the memorial service, just before she left.

 _"You know, I hope you cared for him as much as I think you do. He made you a better person, and in return you made him, so very happy."_

Happy. That isn't something she could be anymore.

Oriana hadn't got in contact from the safe zone she had been placed in. It was possible she was gone.

Gone like Shepard.

Miranda always saw it as her fault. Always looked at other lives she could have lived. _They_ could have lived. Ones, where thing worked out.

In another life there wouldn't have been any Reapers. Just her and John living normal lives.

In another life her infertility wouldn't have existed. They could have had kids. Daughters as smart as her, sons as brave as him.

In another life they would have met under different circumstances. They could have been married.

In another life, she could have been happy

 **END**

* * *

 **Update 9/30/15: Thank's to Crimson Coin for advice on making grammar corrections. The help is much appreciated.**

 **This is my first try at a Mass Effect fic, so I hope you like it. Criticism is accepted, any mistakes you can point out I'd be happy to try correct.**

 **This is very much inspired by The Shadows of Loss by Tyrunner (in my favorite stories list) and I apologies if its too similar**

 **I also owe a HUGE thank you to the aforementioned Tyrunner for allowing me to use an extract from The Shadows of Loss, as well as for advise on writing, your help is very much appreciated.**

 **I'd like to thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed.**


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